Kimblee the Reader X
by Carrett42
Summary: You are on a dangerous mission: The task to take out the psychotic murderer Kimblee. Will you succeed?


Well shit you say. Anyone up for some tea? Kimblee asks you. How can people drink tea? you say

its so warm It burns your mouth I don't get it you say to him.

COULD IT BE COMMUNISM!? You hear Kimblee screech. So you can now see kimblee right? He's a real nut job. Now he's asking you to throw your melons at him. You don't know what he means for you lack melons. You then realize you are standing right in front of some melons. You throw melons at kimblee. Kimblee then catches a melon and blows it up into your face. This angers you immensely and you say I hate Communism you bastard. Kimblee then laughs a maniacal laugh and says COMMUNISM IS KEY! In anger you airbend a rock into kimblees face thus angering him some more.

Kimblee in his creamy white overcoat then spins around and begins walking towards you. In panic you walk backwards and run into this short little guy in a red cloak. You notice how small he is. Some people have the worst of luck. You ask him what's your name shrimp. The shrimp tries to punch you but you easily dodge him. You say jeez im sorry little guy only making him angrier. Im not small he shouts Im really quite large. You tell him whatever you say boss. You then ask him if he likes communism. The shrimp says no commies suck. You then realize he'll be a great ally. You then team up with the shrimp in the red cloak to take on kimblee.

All of a sudden a railroad appears next to you and steaming along comes thomas the fucking tank engine. Dumbfounded you ask what the hell are you doing here? I HEARD SOMEONE SAY COMMUNISM says thomas. The shrimp in the red cloak says yeah that asshole over there loves communism. THAT MAKES ME WANT TO RUN HIM OVER says thomas. So thomas then steams off to kill Kimblee. But since trains have to run on tracks Kimblee simply steps off of them and Thomas steams on by without causing him an ounce of pain. Poor thomas you think. The shrimp in the red cloak remarks that was pointless and you airbend a rock into the shrimps head. You just so happen to love thomas.

Kimblee then charges at you but not before sonic the hedgehog comes running in. It just so happened that sonic was repeating the line GOTTA GO FAST GOTTA GO FAST GOTTA GO FAST" You then saw his face was covered with a red sauce. Especially around his mouth. In his hands were three chilli dogs he was shoving down his throat as he ran. What is it with kids and their chili dogs these days you think to yourself. Sonic then runs into Kimblee before he could flinch going MEEP MEEP MOTHER FUCKER. That is the last you ever saw of sonic the hedge hog. What happened to him you do not know. Just traveling down the neverending road of life like us all. Poor sonic he'll one day make it to paradise.

Kimblee then stands up saying IVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSHIT OF HEDGEHOGS AND STEAM TRAINS AND WHATEVER THE FUCK IS GOING ON. PREPARE TO DIE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST AND YOUR LITTLE FRIEND TOO. You then look at the shrimp in the red cloak and ask wait thats what they call you? He replies yeah. Im still calling you a the red cloaked shrimp. Youre an asshole kid, a complete knee biter says the shrimp. Well at least im not small you say back to him. It just so happens you like small things.

Kimblee then in anger transmutes a gigantic explosion aimed directly towards you. You grab hold of the shrimps hand and kiss him passionately. A gigantic shield of love then protects you and you realize how tight your pants are right now. Must be from all those rockets you carry in your pockets you think to yourself. WHY ARENT YOU DEAD Kimble yells. BECAUSE I LOVE THIS SHRIMP you say MORE THAN I LOVE THOMAS EVEN In the distance a whistle is then heard and a cloud of smoke can be seen above the horizon. Thomas is back.

YOULL DIE you yell at thomas. Hes turned into a rougue engine and is completely off the tracks. BUT YOURE MY LOVE yells thomas. YOU REALLY TURN MY GEARS PLEASE BE MINE. The shrimp puts on a pair of sunglasses and takes out a bazooka. Not today he says. He then fires a missile at thomas blowing him up. You look at the shrimp and say wait youve had that the whole time and only whip it out now. Of course! he says. No one comes between me and my love. You then run towards thomas hearing his last dying words. Can I pet the rabbits george? Of course you can thomas, you say. I see the rabbits now george I see them! You then shoot thomas dead. You dont love him anymore.

Kimblee then falls down onto his knees completely dumbfounded. While in mid-exitential crisis you airbend a shrap rock into his spleen. He then falls over getting blood all over his nice white overcoat. Theres some stains you cant wash out the shrimp says to kimblee. Kimblee then says All I ever wanted was to….kill….people. He then dies. You and the shrimp then make out again and all lived happily ever after.

The End?


End file.
